Why Willpower Isn’t the Problem for Women in Midlife (And What Actually Helps)

Picture this.

You’ve decided it’s time to make some real changes in how you treat your body. You want to fit into a smaller dress for your son’s wedding. You want your arms to look toned, not soft. You want your belly to feel flatter and more comfortable in your clothes.

You know exactly what to do.

You’re going to get to the gym four days a week.
You’re going to cut out your afternoon snack, which usually turns into grazing until dinner.
You’re going to skip wine, except maybe on Saturday nights.
You’re going to stop binge watching Netflix with a bowl of SkinnyPop and instead read, take a bath, and get to bed early.

This time has to work. After all, this is what we’re told works for women in midlife who want to lose weight.

Why Weight Loss Feels Easy at First and Then Falls Apart

The first week goes great.

You stick almost exactly to what you promised yourself. You even convince your girlfriend, the one who usually grabs wine after work, to go for a walk with you instead. You feel proud. You feel motivated. You feel like this might finally be different.

How Your Subconscious Mind Affects Weight Loss After 50

At the beginning of week two, work gets hectic. Your husband has to travel. You decide to grab a takeout salad for dinner.

Except it is not very filling.

Before bed you’re starving. You handle it beautifully and grab a piece of cheese, telling yourself this is still a win.

That night you toss and turn.

The next morning, the thought of Greek yogurt with chia seeds and flax, which you’ve been eating faithfully, feels unappealing. You just have coffee and a banana. You’re still proud of yourself because the old you would have stopped at Starbucks for a scone.

But now you’re hungry all day.

When your girlfriend asks if you want to stop at happy hour, you say yes. You have a couple of glasses of wine. You share appetizers you know are not part of the plan.

And somewhere between the second glass and the drive home, that familiar thought creeps in.

Why did I think this time would be different?
I am too busy.
I am too stressed.
There’s not enough time to take care of me.

If any of this feels familiar, I want you to know something important.

You are not failing.

Why Blood Sugar Matters More Than Willpower in Midlif

You are intelligent. You are capable. You’re usually the one holding everything together for everyone else.

So why is it so hard to follow through on something that matters so much to you?

There are two reasons, and neither of them are a lack of discipline.

They are your subconscious mind and your blood sugar.

Let’s look at both.

Your Subconscious Mind is Always in Charge

Your brain takes in roughly 23 million bits of information every second. In order to function, it deletes, distorts, and generalizes most of that information. Only a tiny fraction makes it into your conscious awareness, and that becomes your internal reality.

This matters because your subconscious mind’s job is safety, not weight loss.

When you change your routine, restrict food, cut back on comfort habits, or push yourself harder, your subconscious often interprets that as threat, not progress. When that happens, motivation drops, cravings increase, and self sabotage sneaks in.

This is one reason so many New Year goals fall apart by the end of January.

Your conscious mind wants change. Your subconscious wants familiar.

When I work with clients, we use tools from Neuro Linguistic Programming, which is the language of the mind, to help the subconscious feel safe enough to support the changes the conscious mind wants to make.

This approach is supported by research showing that mindset and subconscious patterning play a meaningful role in behavior change and health outcomes.
You can read more about the role of subconscious processes in health behavior change here: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6124958/

Blood Sugar Is the Missing Physiological Piece

The second reason this cycle keeps repeating is physiological.

You can have the best intentions in the world. But if your blood sugar is spiking and crashing all day, it becomes incredibly difficult to stay consistent.

When blood sugar drops, your body perceives it as an emergency. Energy plummets. Cravings increase. Decision making becomes harder. Willpower goes out the window.

This is why so many women hit a wall around mid afternoon and suddenly feel like they need coffee, sugar, or both.

One of the first things my clients notice when they begin stabilizing blood sugar is steadier energy, fewer cravings, and a calmer relationship with food. Not because they’re trying harder, but because their bodies are finally supported.

I explain this in more depth inside my mini course STEADY: The Missing Piece to Energy, Weight Loss and Sleep.

Proof That This Approach Works

One of my clients recently texted me:

“Happy Friday. I have two wins. I need to go shopping for new pants because I am down 20 pounds. And I have been paying attention to how I walk. I am working on having my whole foot on the ground and keeping my feet straight. It makes a positive difference.”

This did not come from perfection. It came from understanding her body and working with it instead of against it.

Why Women Over 50 Are Not Broken, Just Unsupported

I want you to hear this clearly.

You are capable.
You are smart.
You are strong.

When your physiology and psychology are aligned, your actions begin to match your intentions. You stop fighting yourself. Change starts to feel steadier, calmer, and more sustainable.

If you want to experience this without a big commitment, start with STEADY: The Missing Piece to Energy, Weight Loss and Sleep.

If you feel ready for deeper, personalized support, you can apply for my signature coaching, the 6 Pillars of Wellness. I use an application and clarity call process because I only take on clients I know I can truly help.

There’s no pressure. Just support, clarity, and a path forward that actually works.

About Maria

Maria helps women 50+ lose weight, build muscle, improve energy and sleep, and reduce aches and pains so they can live active, healthy lives long term. Her work focuses on building muscle safely and keeping blood sugar steady.